Throughout my life, I've experienced some really tough things. Parents splitting up, death and sickness of close loved ones, moving far away from what you thought would be your life forever, realizing that being independent isn't always what it's cracked up to be...just hard things that regular people experience in life. Regardless of these big, tough things happening in my life, I've never had any regrets about them. They've always turned into learning experiences and they've made me who I am today--good parts, and bad. But I've always had a really, really, really big heart. You might not be able to tell sometimes, because I like to act tough, but I'm totally not. The sad/bad/mean things cut me deep, and the happy/fun/sweet things made me feel like I could fly, and there's hardly an in-between!
So, having a big heart can sometimes mean that when a couple bad things happen, it's really really devastating, right? For example: feeling ignored and unimportant when someone doesn't say hello to you (when in reality they might not have seen you) really puts a damper on your day. Or, putting your best effort into an event or a gift and not feeling appreciated when no one shows up or wants to help, or doesn't seem to like the gift (when in reality, they might be busy or have other things going on in their life that are way more important). Or getting your parking spot stolen from right under your nose (there is no explanation for this, it is truly madness) or seeing that someone tore down all the signs that you made by hand that were meant to be a source of helpfulness (also madness, paired with meanness)....
All of these things could really make a good day sour for anyone. But when they all happen on the same day, then buddy you better watch out, because a sensitive person like me is going to cry and get mascara all over your new shirt because "everyone hates them and is out to get them and doesn't care about them at all." Me, me, me, me, me, meeeeeee.
*cries*
And none of that is really true, is it? Nope. It's totally not.
Sometimes, you just want everyone to care as much as your very own big heart does. Sometimes, that's not going to happen. Sometimes, getting your feelings hurt over those things is super selfish. And finally, sometimes, when I feel like I've been selfish, that hurts my feelings even more! (Can you believe it; I can be selfish enough to hurt my own feelings? It's shameful, really).
But it's not just me who is selfish. It's all people, everywhere that have ever existed, ever. And there has never been anyone to walk this planet that was not selfish. Except for one. Do you know how I know?
Because a long long time ago, there was a Man who was perfect. He never, ever did anything wrong. Ever. And people hated Him for that. They wanted to kill them for that. So they did. And He died because all of those selfish people wanted Him gone. So, He went. But...when He went, He kicked selfishness in the rear; He kicked hatefulness in the rear; He kicked all the badness in the world in the rear. He sho' did. And the best part about it was that He came back to let everyone know He did it for all of those selfish people. He let Himself be killed for all of the sensitive, selfish sinners in the world just like me. And that fact alone breaks my heart and truly becomes my saving grace all at the exact same time.
I'm going to hurry up and finish this before I get any further into "the feels." Let's just say, sometimes you need to have a bad day or a bad thing happen in order to knock you off your pedestal. You're not the queen (or king) of the universe...but there is One... and He deserves all the thanks and praise in the world for knocking you off that pedestal because He died for you. And you'd have no hope without that. What do you even have to be sad about, when the person with the biggest heart in the universe died for you? Nothing...you ultimately have not one single thing to be sad about.
I'm just saying, He must have really wanted me to get off my high horse tonight, because He sure did let me know that He's number one.
I'm just saying, He must have really wanted me to get off my high horse tonight, because He sure did let me know that He's number one.
Just think about that, before you want to be selfish, and I'll do the same.
"This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you." John 15:12
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